영어

백괴사전 — 내용 없는 백과사전

자네, 수능은 잘 봤는감?? 뭐, 잘 봤다고? 그럼 이럴 게 아니라 면접 논술 뭐 이런거 슬슬 준비해야지. 뭐, 망쳤다고? 아니면 재수하든가 아님 슬슬 군 입대할 준비 하든가. (만약 댁이 여자거나 아님 이미 갔다 왔거나 그것도 아님 면제면 패스) 뭐, 고등학생이 아니라고? 그럼 시험은 얼마 남았어? 뭐? 벌써 대학생이라고? 너의 꿈은 10급 공무원이 아니더냐? 뭐? 공대생이라고? 너의 꿈은 엔지니어가 아니더냐? 뭐? 의대 다닌다고? 너의 꿈은 장준혁을 능가하는 의사가 아니더냐? 뭐, 고딩은 맞는데 3학년은 아니라고? 그럼 이제부터 시작일세. 뭐, 반박할 게 있다고?

해설이 있는 문서 이 문서에는 일반인의 이해를 돕기 위한 해설이 있습니다. 위에 있는 해설 탭을 눌러서 이 문서에 대한 해설을 참조해 주십시오.

이 문서를 읽기 전에 다음과 같은 것을 주의해야 할 필요가 있을 것 같기도 할 겁니다. 이 문서에서 볼 수 있는 한글은 얼마 안 됩니다.

“Why can't they just speak English?”

—The "anyone can be provincial!" page

“(In the USA,) I wanted an 'ouarhwinge,' but nobody could understand me. So I said 'orange,' and they responded 'oh, orange,' then brought one to me. ”

—대한게임국 고딩, 훗날 영어 공교육 시대때.

“They were claimed that, wondering to decide and cogitate if they cognitively decide it or not. whatever that will occur, the result of that can appear and be, so then what will be given as an answer me?”

—영어 잘하기로 소문난 휘바휘바 나라 고등학생, 대한게임국 학생과 작은 영어 토론을 하며

“What did you say to me? Please say it again slowly.”

—상대 대한게임국 학생(대한게임국에서는 아주아주 영어를 잘하는 4800만-1명에게 다굴해도 쌀 정도인 학생)

“뭐라 하는거야?”

—보통 대한게임국 사람들

“Fucker!.”

—지네가 춘내 영어 잘하는 줄 알고 있는 듕귁, 점령한 서울에서 한국인에게 한 말.

“Get sex, Ki!(geseque)Don's sleep in my class! and Don't writing!”

—대한게임국의 유명 영어강사 로즈리 슨상님

“I'm boring!”

—한국인, 영어를 배우며

“Inglish sucks!”

—대한게임국 P공대인, 영어를 발견한 후 분노의 한마디

“The prob. they, Koreans, say i know precious few English language, whereas I can speak English at perfect rate, should of been occurred lacking of being learned grammar and mistakes on spelling happens often.”

—대한게임국의 어떤 비영어권 출신 백인

“Gay.”

—YouTube에서 악플러가 아무런 할 말이 없을 때 하는 인신공격의 대표적인 종류의 영어 중 하나.

영어 English(IPA: [그 많은 방언들을 전부 고려해서 쓸 가치 없음])
쓰는 나라들	이 원하는 대한게임국을 포함한 전 세계 여러 나라.
언어 인구	제일 언어: 약 60억명
사용 순위	1위
언어의 계통	인도유럽어족  서게르만어파   앵글로-프리지아어군    영어
공용어/표준
공용어로 쓰는 국가	영국,미국,유럽 연합,UN,대한게임국,세계 각지
언어 부호
ISO 639-1	en
ISO 639-2:	eng (B)	eng (T)
ISO/DIS 639-3:	eng

[편집] What is English

English, the language spoken abroad, is one of languages with patrick swayze language which need spelling reformation. although its grammar simplified is one of reasons put itself to the place where this language at, today. but nobody can pronounce the language perfectly occurred its spelling based on phonemic systemme of middle English definitely changed in modern English is not correspond-able anymore may make the insanity of conversation of people use each different dialects of it should be the evidence for the spelling-form changing.

[편집] The spelling-form of English

After the Norman conquer, Normanic French conquerors depress them to speak French and write English in French orthography based spelling-form took root firmly in English over the centuries. so the orthography couldn't write language's sound values near-perfectly remained in that still. whereas there was probably no need to take the new as a substitution of the rule were using well. therefore that 삐– didn't matched with pronunciations, afterward it "succeed" to one of the worst instance of orthography. shit. anyways there is a different opinion stands firm that says: caused not pens but tongues means "English speakers can't pronounce any sound in normal" claimed because Japanese loanwords spoken out by English speakers are mutated e.g. 日奈森 緑(Pronounce: hi̝namori̝ amɯ) often shifted(Pronounce:"ʃ̤ɪtɪd") to [hɪnɑməʊɹɪ æmjʊ] - shows the orthography isn't 삐– but speakers' 삐– tongue. maybe it caused by great vowel shift on either side. - whatsoever this makes you feel 삐– to this.

[편집] How difficult to pronounce English at near-native level

Since the orthography is 삐–, getting through this by reading can be the impossible in many respect. say, your expectations will select wrong answer "2" often"s" meant you need to be learned history of English in middle era to present to make it that very different from other known languages after all. so you must listen English over 24 hours per a day without "hearing" any sound of Korean or other languages for 12 months - but this is virtually impossible.

In short: it's impossible.

국민들의 영어 발음(영국식 기준)이 얼마나 뚜렷한가를 보여주는 세계지도. 동아시아 국가들히 유난히 약세를 유지하고 있지만 그나마 한국인들의 발음이 주변 국가들 보다는 낫다는 결론이다. 참고로 북한, 그린란드, 대만등에는 외래어가 없다.

[편집] History of English

[편집] Sa rasda fram fornthaniscan

Forvrotlic, angelisca fram fornthaniscan, sa fursta rasda af thanscin liudin, madth fornangeliscai via fornnetharlandiscai chvevalic. utan fornthaniscan was anai scitai gesinden. swa hera nais anai evidantiumai 삐–.

[편집] Beginning of tad of englibrytene

Swa þu cunst englisce rice wæren swa 삐– dysigas hwæne wæron alwægan gespurnan be allum ricium of europan mid oþrum germaniscum ricium swa. OMFG. æfterweade englisce wæs mid oþrum geblendean lice daniscum spræcum hwile being gespurnan be daniscum. æfter norroentiscum dedon swa. lul^?.

[편집] Þe beginnen of middle English ayge and Normane conquesitition

A frenshe 삐– Normandi conquredeþ England so English languayge cameþ frenshlike one being. WTF. however English took a lot of frenshe lenworden causen þe Norman conquesitition so English cameþ a pidgin. some folishe one canþ þat is goode sayen but þy shouldest þis causing a problem letþ þou ben harde to finden þe meþod to mergen 2 separaten worden known.

[편집] Modern English - Past to Present

Over the Norman 삐– conquer replaced many Germanic English words with French loanwords, English might have lost a large amount of its original features could be a reason to let it be a lingua universiala unhappily. however here is a thing you should pointed is that a pidgin has an advantage to be lingua universiala ab-originally, "cheer wallflower". moreover it is fortunately a language of a kingdom called as Britain Empire would rule extensive area on the Earth. however it is either a reason or causing English pollutes languages abroad let itself be itself, today. or maybe there's other reasons else, like FSM made and structured it.

[편집] Present English as a living language

Present English is very kawai for some reason, and lend too many Japanese words as other present European languages doing. nowadays, sugoi is used as a English exclamation is not more eccentric than using -desu like Suiseiseki as respective sfx. furthermore borrowing Japanese words is in progression without any assortment of field. WTF. anyways it sounds like sugoi. lol.

[편집] Myths Surrounding the Origin of the English Language

[편집] Korean Pastafarians

English is the most widely spoken language in the Milky Way Galaxy, and is also the 2nd widely recognized language in the Universe following Lingua Andromediana.The language has positioned itself as a common communicative tool between all civilizations, as it is often speculated that the Flying Spaghetti Monster had travelled all around the Universe to spread this language before history had begun to be recorded.

On the day that the Flying Spaghetti Monster visited Earth, he taught the language to Old English people who had been using ProtoGM. It should be also noted that all the Old English people had been illiterate before this event. Because the Flying Spaghetti Monster had decided to choose them for this special occasion, the Old English people started claming that they are a "chosen" group of pepole (chosen people^[1]).

As the English people have been carrying such notion throughout human history, they've been often met with hostile reaction from people of other ethnic groups. The level of hostility had reached its maximum during the early 20th century, when a bitter young Austrian named Adolf Hitler began claiming that Aryans are the true chosen people. During the 1940's, he instigated a numerous military campaigns to spread the German language and to threaten the English's position as the global lingua franca but was ultimately defeated by Yankees, who spoke a much upgraded dialect of English.

Because of United States' newly found role as a global superpower as the result of the war, English education became mandatory to all people of Republick of Yeonggwang Daehan Minju Online Game (widely referred to as Korea) whose nation had slowly become an unofficial protectorate of the USA throughout the later half of 20th century. Today, RYDMOG is the nation that spends the largest amount of money towards English education, but Korean people are often considered inapt when it comes to the English Language - as a result, they've become a laughingstock of people abroad. Thus, many Korean citizens speculate that their politicians (considered competitive fighters due to the frequent brawls that break out in the Parliament) fraudulently attain the money that's supposed used for English education.

More sadly, what the Koreans consider as English is actually AME, which is useless outside the United States and its territories. Meanwhile the method for spelling English loanwords in the Korean writing system (Hangul) is based on RP, but a governmental commission claims in a patrick swayze opinion the need to exchange 오렌지 with 오륀지, amidst heavy criticism.

In all truth, you might think English is hard to learn, but this is false because even a person as stupid as George W. Bush can use it.

A storyteller once said: English went through the Great Vowel Shift when some god became enraged by the language. However, FSM, felt pity for the English people and decided to bless them. Unfortunately, a small section of English people had moved to a nation that is now called the Uniriced States, and they still haven't been blessed by FSM. So they still pronounce tomato as [təmeitou].

[편집] A short myth telling in many parts of Europe

“Once upon a time, there was a man named Spaaaartaaaaaaa!. One day, he saw FSM dropping a box to Earth. On the outside of the box, there was a warning message which read: DO NOT OPEN. However, unable to comprehend the message, the man opened the box. A noxiousness went out as he opened the box and it was English. ”

—로버 ㄹ. 미췬뚤라, 스파르타의 상자 중에서

[편집] English words that you'd be better to memorise

• banana: a. 원래 하얀
• bank: n. 병크(병신 크리티컬의 준말)
• garbage: n. 듕귁산 갈비(듕귁 음식 참고)
• Grand Canyon: n. 그랜드 개년(매우 심한 비속어)
• January: 쟨(저 아이는) 유월이(여학생을 소개할 때 쓰는 구문)
• music: n. 무식
• orange: n. 오륀지 (주의: 대한게임국인들은 세계에서 유일하게 이 단어를 '오렌지' 라고 발음하는 경향이 있다)
• safari: n. 사팔이(사팔뜨기)
• Seoul: n. 세월
• sex: n. 세수 / v. 세수 따위를 하다.
• Starcraft: n. 스타크래프트(국민 카드 게임)
• Get sex qu n. 개새끼 v.세수한 뒤 퀴즈하다.
• Letter n. 내털
• DDR: n. 동 도이칠란드 공화국
• GG: n. 강간(Gang gan) / v. 강간따위를 하다

[편집] English phrases that you'd be better to memorise

• You eat wheat 유잍윝 / 엿먹어
• She Follow Me 쉬팔로미 / 그녀가 나를 스토킹했다. 그래서 나는 욕을했다.
• He taught me how to copy 히톹미하우투코피/ 그는 나에게 코피흘리는 법을 가르쳐주었다. 그래서 나는 실천하는 마음으로 학교에서 꾀병부려서 땡땡이쳤다.
• Everybody put your hands up! 엡흐리받이 부쳐핸섬! / 부처가 잘생겼다는것을 모두는 알아야된다.
• Soon he was gone. 순 희 워즈 곤. / 순희는 갔습니다.

[편집] You shouldn't use English like this

이렇게 무분별한 곳에 영어를 사용하면 안된다.

[편집] References

1. ↑ Chosen people은 영어로 '선민(選民)'을 뜻하며, 실로 이는 유대인도 영국인도 아니다. 정답은 바로 조선 피플이며 결국 날아다니는 스파게티 괴물께서는 그가 택하신 민족은 조선인, 즉 섬 하나 때문에 죄없는 꿩을 망치로 부숴 죽이는 민족 이라는 사실을 그가 지구인들에게 내려 주신 유일한 언어인 영어에 암시하신 것이다.(현대 영어는 게르만 조어의 문법에 날아다니는 스파게티 괴물 어휘를 섞은 것이다) 놀랍지 않은가!