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특집 기사 이 글은 특집 기사입니다. 좋아하는 글을 특집 기사로 만들고 싶으면 특집 기사 요청에 알려 주세요. 특집 버전: 알 게 뭐야 요약된 버전: 영어

자네, 수능은 잘 봤는감?뭐, 잘 봤다고? 그럼 이럴 게 아니라 면접 논술 뭐 이런거 슬슬 준비해야지. 뭐, 면접 논술을 벌써 다 준비했어? 그럼 대학교에 갈 준비를 해야지. 뭐, 망쳤다고? 아니면 재수하든가 아님 슬슬 군 입대할 준비 하든가. (만약 댁이 여자거나 아님 이미 갔다 왔거나 그것도 아님 면제면 패스) 뭐, 고등학생이 아니라고? 그럼 시험은 얼마 남았어? 뭐? 벌써 대학생이라고? 너의 꿈은 10급 공무원이 아니더냐? 뭐? 공대생이라고? 너의 꿈은 엔지니어가 아니더냐? 뭐? 사관생도라고? 너의 꿈은 박정희, 전두환마냥 쿠데타를 일으키고 나라를 파탄내는 독재자가 아니더냐? 뭐? 의대 다닌다고? 너의 꿈은 장준혁을 능가하는 의사가 아니더냐? 뭐? 예술대를 다닌다고? 너의 꿈은 예술가가 아니더냐? 뭐? 대졸이라고? 너의 직장은 어ㄸ..퍽퍽 그만해 새꺄!! 뭐, 고딩은 맞는데 3학년은 아니라고? 그럼 이제부터 시작일세. 뭐, 반박할 게 있다고?

해설이 있는 문서 이 문서에는 일반인의 이해를 돕기 위한 해설이 있습니다. 위에 있는 해설 탭을 눌러서 이 문서에 대한 해설을 참조해 주십시오.

영어 English(IPA: [그 많은 방언들을 전부 고려해서 쓸 가치 없음])
쓰는 나라들	전 세계 여러 나라.
언어 인구	약 60억 명
사용 순위	2위
언어의 계통	인도유럽어족  서게르만어파   앵글로-프리지아어군    영어
공용어/표준
공용어로 쓰는 국가	쌀국·영국·유럽 연합·대한민국·세계 각지
언어 부호
ISO 639-1	en
ISO 639-2:	eng (B)	eng (T)
ISO/DIS 639-3:	eng

잉글리시, 더 랭기지 스포큰 어브로드, 이스 원 오브 랭귀지 위드 파틱크 솨이즈 오드그래피 위치 니드스 스펠링 리보메이션. 얼도, 이츠 그래머 이즈 심플리피드 이즈 원 오브 리즌 풋 잇셀프 투 더 플레이스 웨어 디스 랭귀지 앳, 투데이, 벗 노바디 캔 프로논스 더 랭귀지 프로퍼리, 이즈 어쿼드 이츠 스펠링 베이스드 온 풔네틱 시스템 오브 미들 잉글리시 위치 노태블리 체인지드 인 머던 잉글리시. 잉글리시 어토그래피 더슨'트 매치 위드 프로넌세션, 애니모어. 댓 메익스 디 인새니티 오브 컨버세이션 오브 피플 유스 이치 디퍼런드 디아렛 오비 잇, 슈드 비 더 엘리덴스 포 더 스펠링-폼 체인징.

더 스펠링-폼 오브 잉글리시

After the Norman conquered, because the Normanic French conquerors depressed English people to speak French and write English in French orthography based spelling-form, French spelling-from has taken place firmly in English over the centuries. So, the orthography isn't adjacent language's sound values have remained in it. Whereas, there is probably no need to take the new as a substitution of the rule has been using well. Therefore, that beep-fuck doesn't match with pronunciations, afterward it "succeed" to one of the worst instance of orthography. shit. Anyways, there is some strong opinion that says: caused by no pen but tongue, and it means "English speakers can't pronounce any sound in formal". It has been suggested because Japanese loanwords spoken out by English speakers are mutated e.g. 日奈森 緑 (Pronounce: hi̝namori̝ amɯ) often shifted (Pronounce: ʃ̤ɪtɪd}) to [hɪnɑməʊɹɪ æmjʊ] - shows the orthography isn't beep-berk but speakers' beep-fuckin' tongue. Maybe, it caused by great vowel shift on either side. - Whatsoever this makes you feel beep-suck towards this.

하우 디피컬트 투 프로나운스 잉글리시 앳 니어-네이티브 레벨

Since the orthography is beep-berk getting this through reading, can be the impossible in many respect. Say, your expectations are going to select wrong answers "2" often"s", means you need to be learned in the history of English in middle era to present. It is different from other known languages after all. So you must listen to the conversation of English speakers over 24 hours per a day without "hearing" any sound of Korean or other languages for 12 months - but this is virtually impossible.

In short: it's impossible.

국민들의 영어 발음(영국식 기준)이 얼마나 뚜렷한가를 보여주는 세계지도. 동아시아 국가들히 유난히 약세를 유지하고 있지만 그나마 한국인들의 발음이 주변 국가들 보다는 낫다는 결론이다. 참고로 북한, 그린란드, 대만등에는 외래어가 없다.

히스토리 오브 잉글리시

사 라스다 프람 뽐떼니스캔

Forvrotlic, angelisca fram fornthaniscan, sa fursta rasda af thanscin liudin, madth fornangeliscai via fornnetharlandiscai chvevalic. utan fornthaniscan was anai scitai gesinden. swa hera nais anai evidantiumai beep-furclic.

비기닝 오브 테드 오브 잉라이브이테네

Swa þu cunst englisce rice wæren swa beep-fyrcing dysigas hwæne wæron alwægan gespurnan be allum ricium of europan mid oþrum germaniscum ricium swa. OMFG. æfterweade englisce wæs mid oþrum geblendean lice daniscum spræcum hwile being gespurnan be daniscum. æfter norroentiscum dedon swa. ↑ lollul^?.

Þe beginnen of middle English ayge and Normane conquesitition

A frenshe beep-moþerfirker Normandi conquredeþ England so English languayge cameþ frenshlike one being. WTF. however English took a lot of frenshe lenworden causen þe Norman conquesitition so English cameþ a pidgin. some folishe one canþ þat is goode sayen but þy shouldest þis causing a problem letþ þou ben harde to finden þe meþod to mergen 2 separaten worden known.

모덤 잉글리시 - 패스트 투 프리전트

Over the Norman beep-fuckers' conquer replaced many Germanic English words with French loanwords English might have lost a large amount of its original features, could be a reason to let it be a lingua universiala unhappily. However, here is a thing you should get seen at, is that a pidgin has an advantage to be lingua universiala ab-originally, "cheer wallflower". Moreover it is fortunately a language of a kingdom called as Britain Empire would rule extensive area on the Earth. However, That may be either a reason or causing English pollutes other languages abroad, let it take place as itself, today. Maybe, there's other reasons else, like FSM made and structured it.

프리전트 잉글리시 애즈 어 리밍 랭기지

Present English is very kawai for some reason, and has lent too many Japanese words as other present European languages' spakers doing. Nowadays, sugoi is used as a English exclamation is not more eccentric than using -desu like Suiseiseki as respective sfx. Furthermore, borrowing Japanese words is in progression without any assortment of field. WTF. Anyways, it sounds like sugoi. lol.

마이쯔 서라우딩 디 오리진 오브 디 잉글리시 랭기지

코리한 파스다파리안스

English is the most widely spoken language in the Milky Way Galaxy, and is also the 2nd widely recognized language in the Universe following Lingua Andromediana.The language has positioned itself as a common communicative tool between all civilizations, as it is often speculated that the Flying Spaghetti Monster had travelled all around the Universe to spread this language before history had begun to be recorded.

On the day that the Flying Spaghetti Monster visited Earth, he taught the language to Old English people who had been using ProtoGM. It should be also noted that all the Old English people had been illiterate before this event. Because the Flying Spaghetti Monster had decided to choose them for this special occasion, the Old English people started claming that they are a "chosen" group of pepole (chosen people).

As the English people have been carrying such notion throughout human history, they've been often met with hostile reaction from people of other ethnic groups. The level of hostility had reached its maximum during the early 20th century, when a bitter young Austrian named Adolf Hitler began claiming that Aryans are the true chosen people. During the 1940's, he instigated a numerous military campaigns to spread the German language and to threaten the English's position as the global lingua franca but was ultimately defeated by Yankees, who spoke a much upgraded dialect of English.

Because of United States' newly found role as a global superpower as the result of the war, English education became mandatory to all people of Republick of Yeonggwang Daehan Minju Online Game (widely referred to as Korea) whose nation had slowly become an unofficial protectorate of the USA throughout the later half of 20th century. Today, RYDMOG is the nation that spends the largest amount of money towards English education, but Korean people are often considered inapt when it comes to the English Language - as a result, they've become a laughingstock of people abroad. Thus, many Korean citizens speculate that their politicians (considered competitive fighters due to the frequent brawls that break out in the Parliament) fraudulently attain the money that's supposed used for English education.

More sadly, what the Koreans consider as English is actually AME, which is useless outside the United States and its territories. Meanwhile the method for spelling English loanwords in the Korean writing system (Hangul) is based on RP, but a governmental commission claims in a patrick swayze opinion the need to exchange 오렌지 with 오륀지, amidst heavy criticism.

In all truth, you might think English is hard to learn, but this is false because even a person as stupid as George W. Bush can use it.

A storyteller once said: English went through the Great Vowel Shift when some god became enraged by the language. However, FSM, felt pity for the English people and decided to bless them. Unfortunately, a small section of English people had moved to a nation that is now called the Uniriced States, and they still haven't been blessed by FSM. So they still pronounce tomato as [təmeitou].

어 숏 미쯔 톨드 인 매니 파츠 오브 유로프

“Once upon a time, there was a man named Spaaaartaaaaaaa!. One day, he saw FSM dropping a box to Earth. On the outside of the box, there was a warning message : DO NOT OPEN. However, as he was unable to comprehend the message, the man opened the box. Something harmful went out as he opened the box, which turned out to be English. ”

—로버 ㄹ. 미췬뚤라, 스파르타의 상자 중에서

에센셜 잉글리시 워드즈

• banana: a. 원래 하얀
• bank: n. 병크(삐병신 크리티컬의 준말)
• C-bomb n. 삐씨발
• her: adv. 헐~
• garbage: n. 듕귁산 갈비(듕귁 음식 참고)
• Grand Canyon: n. 그랜드 개년(매우 심한 비속어)
• January: 쟨(저 아이는) 유월이(여학생을 소개할 때 쓰는 구문)
• music: n. 무식
• orange: n. 오륀지 (주의: 대한민국인들은 세계에서 유일하게 이 단어를 '오렌지' 라고 발음하는 경향이 있다)
• safari: n. 사팔이(사팔뜨기)
• Seoul: n. 세월
• sex: n. 세수 / v. 세수 따위를 하다.
• Starcraft: n. 스타크래프트(국민 카드 게임)
• Get sex qu n. 삐개새끼 v.세수한 뒤 퀴즈하다.
• Letter n. 내털
• DDR: n. 동 도이칠란드 공화국
• GG: n. 강간(Gang gan) / v. 강간따위를 하다

잉글리시 프레시스 댓 유'드 베더 메모라이스

• You eat wheat 유잍윝 / 엿먹어
• She Follow Me 쉬팔로미 / 그녀가 나를 스토킹했다. 그래서 나는 욕을했다.
• He taught me how to copy 히톹미하우투코피/ 그는 나에게 코피흘리는 법을 가르쳐주었다. 그래서 나는 실천하는 마음으로 학교에서 꾀병부려서 땡땡이쳤다.
• Everybody put your hands up! 엡흐리받이 부쳐핸섬! / 부처가 잘생겼다는 것을 모두는 알아야된다.
• Soon he was gone. 순 희 워즈 곤. / 순희는 갔습니다.
• I don't give a shit. 아이 돈 기브어 쉿. / 나는 배설물을 주지 않습니다.

유 슈든'트 유즈 잉글리시 라이크 디스

유 슈든'트 유즈 잉글리쉬 인 서치 어 래쉬 플레이스 라이크 디스.

↑ 도보시오씨 얼쏘^?

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